It's my turn!

Those of you that know my life understand that I work with people who are addicts and mentally ill. They live in our home with us. And while that is unusual to most people, for us it is a calling of God. It is strangely rewarding and even fun sometimes. Mostly it is amazing to watch God transform lives right before your eyes. Awesome stuff! But with all things, there is a flip side too. We are often stuck with the job of weeding through soooo much stuff. Like for instance when we see strange behavior in a person, we are analyzing...what is an organic problem?, might they be using?, have they been taking their meds properly?, have they met up with something or someone from their past that is a problem???? On and on. And with the "organic" issues comes mental illness. It is super hard to determine what is just mental illness and where excuse and rebellion has entered in. And so poor behavior is common. And we as the caregivers are supposed to excuse these behaviors and instabilities as "Well they are ill." AND, my beef for the day...we are expected to not only understand and excuse, but we have to remain calm, stable, and rational at all times. We are to be balanced, caring, understanding, patient. Well, I have decided that I need days to be the unstable one, the sick one. Because frankly, this makes me sick! So there might just be days when I am off my rocker, and all of you will just need to just understand because, well, I might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or Depression, or Bipolar, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Chemical Dependency, Co-Dependency.......................................I want to act like an idiot for a change, and have a reason to chalk it all up!! I tire of always having to be the stable and rational one. So there!