How am I doing?

I looked at the date on my last post and realized that it was the day before my father-in-law Lorryn passed away. Who would have thought as I wrote that 24 hours later I would be in the throughs of grief with my family. The "circle of life" so to speak has a power to change our course dramatically within seconds.
So how am I doing? I have to stop and ask myself this frequently these days. I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I said goodbye to a wonderful man (who not too many years ago, I would not have attached the word "wonderful" to)! His death was a trauma--happening in the Perkins in Cambridge. Saying goodbye to a loved one is not something you picture doing on the floor of a restaurant. And yet as I stroked Lorryn's head and prayed over him, I noticed the look of absolute peace on his face and just had a sense of everything being okay and the way it is supposed to be. Strange....
And then, I stand on the edge of that same valley with my dad. It just sucks! It is unfair and at times I feel that I cannot do this. It's too much for one family to endure all at once. It is! And yet, I was singing in church a song that repeated "Where you lead me Lord I will follow."...yes, we had smiles on our faces and our hands were raised. Then the Lord spoke to me and reminded me that He leads us through that ugly valley too..would I still go with Him? Could I go through that valley again, or even soon and be okay? Could I?!! I started to cry and said that I would. I don't want to, and it is still unfair, but yes I would. Could I handle yet another funeral and make it? Yes--don't want to, but yes.
And to top it off, the day after my father-in-law's funeral was the day that our eldest member of the household thought appropriate to start a cold war. She has literally been in isolation from the whole household...not eating with us, not communicating---complete and total isolation which carries a message to us. We are unsure what the intent of her messsage is, but the one that is being sent is this--"I am so self-focused and my world is so small that I would choose to be petty and put your household under more unneeded stress while you are enduring the biggest crisis that you have EVER endured. And I am your friend????!!!" This is the message we are hearing, and it is causing a lot of stress and anger.
So that is how I am doing. Anyone care to join me?