Defined

I have defined myself today. One might caution about labeling or defining oneself and I generally agree. However, sometimes I think it really helps to sit down and figure yourself out...if that is possible. So here it is, in a word (from Webster's Dictionary):

Definition of DISJOINTED
1a : being thrown out of orderly function b : lacking coherence or orderly sequence

This is me! Oh my goodness, this is me! I have days here and there where I say I am disjointed, but lately this is the rule. I feel as if I am floating from event to event, crisis to crisis, person to person, project to project. There is little sense of cohesion. I get this way when I am in crisis mode or just plain overwhelmed. And I am both.

I knew this cancer stuff was going to be a wild ride, but until you are in the thick middle of it, you cannot possibly know just how wild. Things you NEVER thought of, happen. It is a season of tremendous "unexpecteds." Unfortunately, most of them are not positive and so, you catch your breath each time the phone rings or you get an update. I know this needs to drive me deeper into the arms of my Jesus, but I am so out of focus I scarcely know how to even do that. So yes, I have pegged myself....now what?