Aaahhhh....true love

True love is letting them walk home in the thunderstorm after they have run away and setting the gauze and antibiotic on the counter to help soothe the blisters on their feet (because they ran away in dress sandals).

So Serioius

As I have looked over my posts, I realize that I am loving the opportunity to process the stuff that goes on in my head and heart. But another thing I have realized is that I have been "blessed" with the gift of being really serious like almost all of the time. I put in the empahsis, because it is a blessing, but in some venues it is a curse. For instance with my parenting. I am too serious and forget or neglect to be playful and just have fun with my kids. So anyway, I need to get serious about not being so serious. Someone has got to help me have some fun! :)

Its 12:00, do you know where all of your household members are?

"My life is going to Hell!" she shouted at anyone who was listening. These were the words of my now missing (again) household member. This was on the tail-end of a pretty intense meeting where this person learned that their rights are going to be further restricted. Wow, the truth in those words! "Yes your life is going to Hell if you keep going down this path you are on!" is what I would have liked to yell in return (if I weren't wanting to avoid a bigger scene in this public setting). I have so much love an compassion for this one, and yet she frustrates the heck out of me! So much potential unrealized, so many lies believed, and so defensive of her poor choices!

But wow, as I ponder her response, I really wonder if I am much different. When my "rights" get restricted I whine and pi** and moan too. I shift blame to those who are making my life miserable. I pout and I get angry and I run too. My running is not literal, but just as significantly wrong and unhealthy. Please pray for this one to keep running, and if you listen to this song, you will understand what I mean.

No caffeine....no headaches?

So as you all know, I have been doing this whole caffeine wean down thing. What I thought would be my worst nightmare...OK, that is a wee bit strong, has really not been bad! Weird thing I noticed today. I used to consume pretty fair amounts of caffeine, and would suffer with headaches at least 3x per week. I never made a connection until now that I have not had headaches since I have weaned down. Generally I have ONE cup of caffeinated coffee in the morning and the rest of the day is caffeine free stuff and I have been headache free! I'm not sure of this, but if I had a bonified dependency (aka, addiction) going on , then it makes sense that my body is not screaming for the stuff! Wow, kicking the idols has some pretty sweet benefits! And I have not died!

Liar Liar

My friend and I have been meeting weekly with no real agenda other than hearing eachother's hearts and encouraging each other to grow, move forward in Christ and to pray for eachother. Our time has been very rich and unencumbered by the demands of a "small group." One of our challenges for eachother has been to really take a look at how we talk and respond to people. How often do we not say what we should, or say some benign thing like' "I'm good!" when that is so NOT TRUE, or we play Minnesota nice, or manipulate our words, or just flat out lie for the sake of ______________, you fill in the blank. So, inspired by the movie Liar Liar by Jim Carey, we have taken the challenge to at least one time this week be gut level honest with someone that we maybe normally would not be. That might mean confronting some long buried issue, or if they ask something like "How does my makeup look?" They might get a surprising answer. The point is not to be mean and spiteful, but to work on our integrity of speech and action. Give it a try. You will be surprised at how much we do manipulate our words and actions to give appearances, which in plain speech is lying. This clip is from Liar Liar. The movie has some inappropriate spots to get the point across, but overall it has a great message. So duck the cuss words and enjoy!

Broken

You maybe have all heard this song by Lifehouse. This is an older song, but one of my all time favorites. This particular version live is awesome. Jason, the lead singer really puts a ton of emotion into it which makes it even more meaningful. Listen to the lyrics carefully. We have all been here, and dare I say we need to go again and again.

Talk to your kids....a lot!

So my 4 year old is a non-stop talker. And so many times I have to just let her go, answering every other question and comment on every one I can catch without losing my mind. There are literally times that I have to tell her, "Lydia, I just don't want to talk anymore!" She has no idea that it takes A LOT of talking for me to get to that point. Anyway, the other day we were on our way home from a doctor appointment and I needed her to stay awake for the ride so she would still get a nap when we got home. The topics that interest her most are....puke, blood, and poop. So we had to talk about these faves so she would stay awake. Wow, she even had our 75 year old friend telling puke stories. Then we ran out of real stories and had to make a few up! Eventually, we were repeating so we changed to the subject of "the hops." For some reason, she has always thought that cops are "hops", and so, it is a common household name for us. Anyway, long story short, she and I practiced 911 calls taking turns being the "hops" and the people needing help. It was hilarious. What was cool though, is I realized that all of that talking we have done over the years has paid off. She really does take this stuff in and gets it! So many times I have thought it was mindless chatter. If I weren't one born with the gift of gab, I might have been tempted to blow her off and just not talk about all of this stuff ALL DAY long. Cool thing, is that this chatter could some day save a life. Amazing!

Brave and Honest

I just came home from seeing Robin Hood. A friend invited Jeremy and I, and so we went. I really had no great expectations, but I did love the Robin Hood: Prince of Theives movie that came out when I was in high school, so I figured it was worth a shot. If nothing more, I wanted to compare the two to see how they paired up. Long story short, this was a great movie.

At one point in the movie, the king wanted to go out among the soldiers and find just one honest man. He cloaked himself to remain anonymous and went on his search. There is a scuffle between Robin and another man and as a result the king's cover is blown. Every man bows low when they realize it is the king and there is silence. He confronts Robin and his enemy and asks who is responsible for the fight. Robin answers first and says , "It was I your majesty; I threw the first punch." The king tells his assistant "Here he is, brave and honest." The story line goes on, but I was struck by this scene. I was reminded of 2 Chronicles 16:9, "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."

I want to be like Robin! I want my King to seek me out, and find me even at the moment of my foolishness as one whose heart is fully committed to Him. And while I am bowed low, I want Him to say of me that I am "brave and honest." Robin goes on to be a well respected man of war, though a common thief..........hmmmm, things to ponder.

Crap or get off the pot!

So, as I have been contemplating what to blog lately, I have found myself hesitating to write things that someone might read and be offended. That is one downfall I think to this whole blogging thing, is that it is your personal stuff that you are putting out there for others' scrutiny. But then again, maybe it's a good thing, because if we are going to be real (in this genre), and in others, then we need to put the people pleasing aside, and take the leap. I am far too worried about what people think, and am always trying to maneuver to make sure no one is offended. It has to stop! So here goes--this is what is on my mind. I am working with a few ladies that both are great at verbalizing that they know what they need to do BUT DON'T DO IT! AARGH! If you REALLY want change....then crap or get off the pot!

If I were Eve

We were talking in our "Growth Groups" at church (basically adult Sunday school group) about choices. Of course the discussion of Adam and Eve in the garden was top on the list. Why, when everything was perfect, and there was only ONE choice for evil that could be made, did Eve and/or Adam even feel any sort of lack that they would desire to make that ONE wrong choice? Further, they were TIGHT with God! I mean they were in daily, intimate fellowship with their Father, their maker, their friend. They lacked nothing; they had to work for nothing, and yet why did they feel the need to choose that one bad thing, when every other choice they could make was good!? It is frustrating to the point that some of us have become Eve bashers. Us women, of course, sit back and think (because we would never voice this of course), "Well, if I were Eve, I would have........(you fill in the blank with whatever self righteous nonsense you would like)." Some men among us, use the story to point to their gender superiority and to the seductress's poor choices due to her intellectual and spiritual weakness. I have fallen prey to these theories and have certainly wanted to believe that I would have done things very differently if I were Eve. And another question, why would Eve have given in so quickly and thoroughly to the serpents suggestion? Frankly, I don't think it was as we have been led to believe it all of this time. Genesis 3:6 says "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it." Apply some imagination to this text for a minute. Eve had everything she needed. She did not lack for food or beauty, but yet look at those justifications. She had the wisdom of GOD available to her at any time, but yet she figured she needed more. Ask yourself why in the context of your own life. I think the imagination we need to apply to this text is to put ourselves in the story. If you or I are in intimate fellowship with the Lord, knowing we lack for nothing, will we be quick to listen and buy the lies of the enemy? No way! I don't think this was a one time conversation she had with the serpent. Now before you call me a heretic, really think about this. If she was tight with God, it would be very hard to convince her of a lie. She would have called it out, like we do, renounce the lie and moved on. I personally think there was a slow erosion, the enemy whispering in her ear for a long span of time, and after awhile, she bought the lie and changed the course of history because of it. WE DO THE SAME THING!!! Do you usually buy a lie of the enemy like right now, real time, if you are in fellowship with the Lord? No, it usually takes the slow erosion. Remember, "the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord had made." With a one time conversation, do we really buy that he won Eve over?! I like to not give him that much credit, and nor do I think he is that lucky! Bottom line, we probably would have done the same thing as Eve.

Give up what???!!!!

So on Wednesday I have an extremely intense time of discussion and prayer with Sarah regarding idolatry and repentance. Ouch! And should I be surprised that on Thursday I am called to give up a thing, item, comfort, coping mechanism.....ok I'll talk straight, AN IDOL?! I went to the doctor with some female issues that I won't give you the gore on here, BUT, his orders??? You won't even believe it? Well. I don't. He says "Give up caffeine, chocolate, and reduce salt." Okay, my first reaction was okay, this is going to be hard. But the more I wrestled with it, I became....are you ready for this?.....ANGRY!!!! I mean ticked off bad! I have a love for coffee. I am a drinker by necessity and a social drinker as well. Coffee is a comfort for me and the caffeine is a major bonus [love]. As I worked with this I noticed the anger, and the idea of loss, and all of the sudden I have had an epiphany. This is a major hit to my flesh, and my flesh is screaming right now, because why? It hurts to trash our idols. It hurts to have our flesh worked over, and God is faithful. He heard my prayers, and He is taking me at my word. Idols take a lot of time to fashion. We put a lot of ourselves and our love into them, and we love them. But God does and will ask us to trash them if we seek after Him. Yikes....now if you excuse me, I am going to enjoy [loathe] my freshly brewed cup of DECAF coffee.

Chewing

I am chewing on some pretty sobering stuff...OK, more like choking, and right now it is just nice to have my pajama bottoms and sweatshirt on with my warm fuzzy cat next to me licking my finger.....

Better than a Hallelujah

So I have been dealing with some pretty broken people lately, and for the most part that is fine. The problem with that for me is I can so easily forget that I also need permission to be broken sometimes. My kids need me to be strong, the hubby can't function quite right if I'm vulnerable, and the chicks of Selah need me to be level headed too. So if I have to have a meltdown, I guess it is either not allowed, or I have to scream into a rather large pillow. Not sure if either works.... Anyway, the hubby encouraged me to really listen to the lyrics to this song which I had avoided because all I could think of was El Shaddi! After I got over the initial criticism of the artist, I heard a woman who spoke with experience and depth. She must have been there a few times. The lyrics are amazing! Have a listen and enjoy or have your own meltdown if needed...whatever God inspires!

Why do they grow up and show us ourselves?

We've all heard every parent lament about how we so wish our kids would grow up (some days), and lo and behold they do. Then we are sad that they've grown and want them to be little again, right? Some days, we wish they could act more maturely, think more maturely, and understand things in a more mature way. So I give a resounding yes to all of this, but tonight I saw another aspect in my child that made me think of another reason we kind of resent this growing up thing our kids do. It goes beyond the "Awwww, remember when you were little and......" moments. As they do grow, they have more sophisticated ways about them, and that includes how they get angry. There was a minor dispute tonight between Dad and child. Child then becomes enraged, I mean like name calling her dad and wishing she could toss something at him kind of enraged over a really teeny tiny thing that he had done in jest. She then goes into a 20 or more minute pout, an angry pout. So then I, super mom, decide to let her cool down. All the while I am boiling and frustrated at her. So I go upstairs, chew her a new rear end, come downstairs and have an epiphany. I told her she needed to grow up, but lo and behold, she already has. She is having a big girl tantrum, very similar to the ones that ....ummmm.....I have. I saw myself in her. Long and short of it, child was frustrated throughout the day because she is on a semi-grounding which is rather undefined. So with the various requests that came from her lips today, we considered and then gave them all a "No." Amazingly, she seemed to roll with it pretty good, but what I think happened tonight is a girl who really was mad at mom and dad all day, but never really put her finger on it. And in the end, it came out backwards, and those that she loves end up being hurt. I do this all of the time, and I soooo saw myself in my young lady tonight. WOW, they do grow up and become just like us....even in the icky ways :( Note to self: deal with the frustration at the start, and then the ones I love don't have to suffer later!